ARE YOU ALONE OR LONELY?

Have you ever been alone at home? A few years back, the answer to this question was “Never!”  We Indians always preferred joint families. Until recently our families included parents. So, people staying alone was unheard of.

But alas! long… long…  ago Lord Shrikrishna has made it very clear in Bhagavadgeeta that “change is the only permanent thing in the world”. So, the wave of change hit the basic unit of the society. We adopted ‘small’ families. No…no…sorry…let me use a technical word, we adopted nuclear family system. Nowadays the answer for my question would be “Yes, often” or “Yes, big deal !!?”

A decade ago, spending days ALONE doing nothing or with a favourite book was one of my most cherished dreams since my life was very hectic, as that of any working woman. I worked at home as well as at school (you might complain what nonsense? Women always work, you aren’t special). My day used to start at 4.30am--cooking, going to school with my kids, cleaning, washing, parenting, guests, attending husband and so on. As the years passed, my children flew away in the pursuit of their career. As our new home was in the city’s outskirts, the number of guests reduced too. So, whenever my husband went out of the city for days together on duty, my dream came true. I was overwhelmed. Yeah…. I was ALONE!!

But the freedom and the free time I had proved worthless. After reading two books I got bored. Cooking? for whom? Too many questions filled my plate. As the night set, I heard unpleasant sounds, and imagined shadows near the windows. Listening to news stories of house robbery, murder of lone ladies frightened me. Life was dull and boring. We humans are never happy with what we have. Soon I was unhappy with my dream world. Now I wanted to return to my old hectic life because I was LONELY not ALONE.

Yes, every thing said and done, this is the reality. With the advent of globalisation, the definition of the family has totally changed. Now we are left with only two important questions to answer-- Are you alone? or Are you lonely? There is no problem if you are alone. There are many around the globe. After all we are born alone and die alone right? But never ever feel lonely. This can spoil your health, wealth, and happiness. Yes… We need to declare a war against loneliness.

This war needs different kinds of weapons and strategies based on whether we live in a city, a town, or a village; an independent house or an apartment. Also, on our personality—introvert, extrovert, rigid or flexible.

 In Agricultural homes there is always one or the other work waiting. In big cities there are enough opportunities (baby care, part time jobs, etc) to help earn money. Finally, the choice is ours.  

These are the few suggestions I would like to give. It is up to you to ponder upon these ‘Punch’s!

1.      If you love to watch the television, there are lots of good shows, movies, serials, and discussions available. However, be careful of the content. Additionally, if you have internet facility I would suggest that you see YouTube videos on various topics--on Indian culture, the Vedas, the Upanishads, the Epics, music, language, and dance. There are talks by scholars in local language and English on YouTube. Try to catch up with them. Social media like Facebook opens the door to an amazing world full of friends. Again, we must be careful about our selection.

2.      If you love the company of children, then tuition classes will keep you engaged. Children are bundles of hope and energy. Teaching those angels will give you immense satisfaction. You can teach online too (E-Vidyaloka is one example). There are many charity organisations who are in search of volunteers. Start a search in your area. If you want to spend your time outside the home you can join one. It will be a wonderful experience.

3.      If you have space and can soil your hands, plants are the best friends. Grow your vegetables at home garden or on terrace. There is nothing compared to be with nature.

4.      We have a rich tradition of Bhakti. There are umpteen number of Vrata- and Upavasas practiced by our ancestors. If you like them, engage yourself with them. Sing bhajans, chant mantras in the morning and evenings. I don’t know whether it pleases God or not. But I am sure it will soak you in joy. If possible, join the Bhajan groups in a nearby temple. Participate in the community festivals and Jatres. Yogabhyasa is the biggest asset we have. Try to learn, adopt and teach.

5.      If you love reading, you are luckiest person under the Sun. This is an easy and satisfying hobby. If available, become a member of nearby library. Identify the people who love reading. You can exchange books with them. If possible, get a kindle reader. You can enjoy reading without worrying about storage space. 

Along with this, change your outlook towards life. Modern life has given us many good facilities but a few challenges too. Stop comparing dead-gone old days with present. Just move with the flow. Don’t worry much about the dying traditions and modern clothing. Culture is like a river. Continuous movement is its very basic nature. We must move with it retaining our level best. 

Being alone has made me strong. It opened up new avenues in front of me. 

Trust me!  Being Alone can be all about Being Happy!